Bands That Need to Break Up Already

Creed is reuniting. Oh, excuse me, it's not a reunion; it's a "renewing and a rebirth," says Scott Stapp in his typical overbearing, self-important, insufferable manner.

Can you tell I'm excited? 

Seriously, does anyone need to be subjected to Creed again? Haven't we paid our dues? Didn't we retire them with the Bush Administration? Creed is like Dick Cheney. They don't know when it's time to say good-bye. I don't need Scott Stapp bringing down my summer just as I'm getting all exited about the Jonas Brothers tour.

Only one good thing could possibly come from a Creed reunion: they can provide a reality check for all the other bands that need to break up. Now. For good. For real. And forever. There are WAY too many bands that have overstayed their welcome and need to be shown the door. Allow me to direct you.

 

GALLERY: Say goodbye to all of the bands that need to break up.

 

THE ROLLING STONES
"The greatest rock 'n' roll band in the world" is now just the oldest. Bassist Bill Wyman got smart in 1992 and bailed. The rest should have gotten the same clue. Instead, we're left with "Voodoo Lounge," "Bridges to Babylon," and 17 years of mediocrity that threaten to trample three previous decades of rock genius. 

 

 

 

HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH
One could argue that it's more important for some bands to never form at all instead of break up. No argument here. Anyway, lead singer Darius Rucker seems more concerned with his "Who am I now?" solo projects these days (he's currently a country musician after trying to be an urban artist). I'll gladly take a Hootie solo record if it means seeing the Blowfish disappear.

 

 

 

REO SPEEDWAGON
REO represents an entire stable of '80s acts that are milking the retro cow for all she's worth. They lost their record deal at the end of the '90s and have spent the last decade touring the oldies circuit. Feels like it's time to pack it up. 

 

 

 

THE FIXX
I know what you're saying: "The Fixx are still together?" Yup. The '80s group that brought us "Red Skies" (loved that record, I admit it) is touring somewhere near you and is "currently in the studio," which is code for "Does anyone want us to make another record?" Nope.

 

 

 

STYX
You can find Styx playing "Mr. Roboto" on a double-bill with REO Speeedwagon.  Seriously, they're on tour. There's one reason these guys should stop: Dennis DeYoung, their original lead singer, who split in the '90s due to an illness that left him light-sensitive (no one digs a concert without lights). Styx continued with a replacement. Lame. That's like Queen continuing without Freddie Mercury. Wait a minute...

 

 

 

METALLICA
Yeah, I said it. Metallica needs to quit. I don't know the first thing about them. I don't dig metal. I do agree that their last album sounded a bit distorted. Still, they look silly thrashing with their receding hairlines and hair plugs. A metal band needs to leave on top while they're young, rocking, and aren't likely to pinch a nerve from head-banging. It's a rule written somewhere.

 

 

 

THE ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND
Duane Allman's dead. Dickey's kicked out of the band. At the very least, they should change their name. How about "Southern Rock Band No. 256?"

 

 

 

THE B-52's
I love 'em. "Rock Lobster" will get me on the dance floor every time. But it's kinda creepy seeing them do the wild thing now. Admit it, would you leave your kid alone with Fred Schneider? 

 

 

 

THE BEACH BOYS
These guys have pissed all over Brian Wilson's good name and musical genius for more than 20 years with court battles, appearances on "Baywatch" and lame excuses for songs like "Kokomo." It's just a disgrace. They should finally do the right thing and retire so we can be left in peace with our copies of "Pet Sounds."

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'Anvil!' Movie A Hit, 'Metal on Metal' Headed To 'Rock Band'

The surprising success and universal acclaim for the documentary "Anvil! The Story of Anvil" is "opening a lot of doors" for the Canadian headbangers, according to drummer Robb Reiner -- among them tour possibilities, inroads into video games, and re-recording some of the band's classic material.

After premiering in New York, Los Angeles and Toronto to rave reviews and huge crowds - as reported on film blog The Playlist, "Avil!" bested "Hannah Montana" in per-screen average last weekend - the film opens in five more cities Friday and seven more on April 24.

Reiner tells Billboard.com that Anvil hit the studio to record new versions of three songs -- "Metal on Metal," "666" and the first-ever studio recording of "Thumb Hang" by the Anvil pre-cursor Lips -- for inclusion in "Rock Band." "We did them in Toronto, just recently," Reiner says. "The original tapes were gone from the early records, but the band is far superior today than it was 30 years ago in every aspect. You can tell it's the same band that's only gotten better, so why not take a crack at this stuff?"

He adds that it was a particular kick for Anvil -- which also includes singer-guitarist Steve "Lips" Kudlow and bassist Glenn "G5" Gyorffy -- to take on "Thumb Hang."

"The actual concept, the riff is very ancient," Reiner says. "We put it together when we were, like, 14 years old, just jamming away in my parent's basement. Now we kind of modernized it and contemporized it in Anvil fashion, but the gist of the song is still in its original concept."


Reiner says the group is still hashing out final plans for a DVD release of the "Anvil!" movie as well as a companion soundtrack album; the latter, he says, will also include "Thumb Hang" and may be modeled after the "Pulp Fiction" soundtrack, incorporating dialogue from the film between the songs. Anvil is also looking into the possibility of re-releasing its 13-album catalog in both terrestrial and digital formats.

As previously reported, the group is currently on a seven-city "The Anvil Experience" tour with shows that include screenings of the film and a performance by the band; its remaining stops include Philadelphia, Pontiac, Mich, and Chicago. Anvil, meanwhile, has June shows booked in Dublin and London and is hatching plans for a more extensive tour.

"Like I said, a lot of things have opened up for us," Reiner says. "I'm completely excited about it. It's a great feeling...being discovered and rediscovered in one blast. Right now our focus is to build the movie and the band and see where it all goes from there."

via Billboard

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Metallica, Run-DMC inducted into Rock Hall of Fame

CLEVELAND – Metallica shoved the mosh pit into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Heavy metal's heaviest hitters, whose menacing, monstrous sound has banged heads around the globe for decades, were inducted into rock's shrine on Saturday night, capping a star-studded ceremony that felt much more like a concert than an awards show.

For the first time, the no-holds-barred show, back in Cleveland following a 12-year holdover in New York's Waldorf-Astoria ballroom, was open to the public.

And nearly 5,000 fans partied in the balconies inside renovated Public Auditorium as 1,200 VIPs dined below at tables costing as much $50,000 each.

Many of the came to pay homage to Metallica, which earned top billing in an eclectic 2009 class that included rap pioneers Run-DMC, virtuoso guitarist Jeff Beck, soul singer Bobby Womack and rhythm and blues vocal group Little Anthony and the Imperials.

Metallica's members have survived some of the dark themes — death, destruction and desolation — that threads through its music, and their induction was a chance to celebrate their legacy as perhaps the hardest band to ever walk the earth. The event also served as a reunion as bassist Jason Newsted, who left the group in 2001, joined his former bandmates on stage for seering versions of "Master of Puppets" and "Enter Sandman."

"Whatever the intangibles elements are that make a band the best, Metallica has them," said Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea, who delivered a heartfelt speech in presenting the band. He recalled being on tour and hearing Metallica on the radio for the first time.

"My mind was blown. It wasn't punk rock. It wasn't heavy metal. It just stood by itself," he said. "I didn't know what it was, but I knew it was a mighty thing."

In accepting their awards, Metallica's members were joined by Ray Burton, the father of original bassist Cliff Burton, who died tragically in 1986 when the band's tour bus skidded off an icy road in Sweden.

"Dream big and dare to fail, because this is living proof that it is possible to make a dream come true," said frontman-guitaristr James Hetfield, who then rattled off a long list of hard-rocking bands he feels deserve induction.

"Deep Purple, Thin Lizzy, Rush, Kiss, Ted Nugent, Iron Maiden, Motorhead. We'd like to invite them through the door," said Hetfield, who concluded his remarks by wrapping Ulrich in a bear hug.

The evening ended with a jam for the ages as Metallica, Beck, Jimmy Page, Aerosmith's Joe Tyler and Flea brought the house down with a performance of the Yardbirds' "Train Kept A Rollin."

A guitar virtuoso, Beck, who was previously inducted in 1992 with the Yardbirds, was put in for his solo work. Although best known for his rock accomplishments, Beck's career has wandered a fretboard of genres ranging from blues to jazz to electronica.

"Jeff's style is totally unorthodox to the way anyone was taught," said Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page, who presented his longtime friend. "He keeps getting better and better and better."

Beck, wearing all white, was joined on stage by Page, a fellow guitar god, who played bass during a searing rendition of Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song."

With two turntables and a microphone, Run-DMC broke down the barriers between rock and rap. With sparse, stripped-down lyrics above pounding beats, the trio of Joseph "DJ Run" Simmons, Darryl "D.M.C." McDaniels and Jason "Jam Master Jay" Mizell changed rap in the 1980s by taking the realities of the streets to the suburbs.

"They broke away from the pack by being the pack," said rapper Eminem, looking like the band's lost member by sporting the group's trademark black fedora and black leather jacket. "They were the baddest of the bad and the coolest of the cool. Run-DMC changed my life."

"There's three of them and if you grew up with hip hop like I did, they were the Beatles."

Their remake and collaboration with Aerosmith on the rock band's "Walk This Way" changed modern music.

"We were young guys with a new music that people thought was a fad, but we knew the culture was a way of life and we just lived it," McDaniels said. "The music that we made then didn't just impact friends, it impacted a generation. So I guess that's what rock and roll does."

Any chance of a Run reunion ended with Mizell's death in 2002, when he was shot to death outside his studio. His murder remains unsolved.

Mizell's mother, Connie, accepted the award on his behalf. "My baby is still doing it for me," she said.

Simmons cited "so many smart people and so much help" several times during his speech. He also thanked Mrs. Mizell, who allowed the group to set up their equipment in her Hollis, Queens, living room.

"She never told us to turn the music down once," Simmons said, turning to his late friend's mom. "I'd like to thank you for that."

Cleveland's Womack, the son of a steelworker, is best known for his soulful voice, but he had far greater musical range as a talented songwriter and guitarist.

He also branched into gospel, returning to the roots that got him his start with a family group, the Valentinos. He later played guitar for Sam Cooke.

Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones introduced Womack as "the voice that has always killed me. He brings me to tears." Wood then recalled a night in New York when he and Womack hid as some Hells Angels gang members were roughing up Wilson Pickett.

Little Anthony and the Imperials, who began their career singing on street corners in Brooklyn, N.Y., opened the program with a gorgeous medley of hits "Tears on My Pillow," "Hurt So Bad," and "I'm Alright." Many in the crowd mouthed the familiar tracks as lead singer Anthony "Little Anthony" Gourdine's falsetto filled the room.

Longtime friend Smokey Robinson presented the doo-wop group, calling their induction "long overdue."

Gourdine thanked his music teacher, "wherever you are" during his induction speech.

"We've been in this now for 50 years, and when we were kids we never imagined in our wildest dreams we'd ever be here," he said. "Now that it's here, the one thing we can look at and say is nobody can ever take this away from us."

Dubbed the "Sweet Lady with the Nasty Voice," the 71-year-old Jackson got her start as a country singer. She was a flamboyant dresser, and her choice of skirts and high heels rankled some hardcore fans. It was Elvis Presley, whom she toured with the 1950s, who persuaded her to sing rock songs.

"She could really rock and still kept her femininity intact," said presenter Roseanne Cash. "She's the prototype for so many of us."

Drummer DJ Fontana and the late bassist Bill Black — both of Elvis Presley's backup band — and keyboardist Spooner Oldham made it in the sidemen category.

source

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